If this news post reaches 1,000 posts I'll melt a block of butter with my butt and post update pics hourly of progress.

RULES

Can only post 5 posts per account

Posts can't just be one word or spam.

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I am dead serious

The next cartoon I'm working on has lots of cocks, puke, scat, semen, birthing, scat+semen mixed together with vomit and socks.

It will be like the aristocrats but a bit more horrible. Here is a screenshot.

FUCK U

I had to drop "A CrackWhore Montage" You all would have either hated it or loved it. It sucks so much to do this. I just noticed I'm posting this at 9/11 AM lol. LOLOLOL.

Instead I am doing my first cartoon with out a dick or vag or anything nude in it. It's going to be about puppies and kittens skateboarding and juggling. And most of all.........friendship. How gay.

YAY? OR NAY?

Well I have sucked a dick. Someone else's and my own. It was a long time ago when I sucked that dudes cock though.

Anyways.

Sometimes I like to see how flexible I can get and suck my own wang. If you want to see my flexibility look at my default myspace pic. myspache

Sooo. Sometimes I just get the urge to suck on a dick. Bite one a little bit. Suck the fuck out of it until it erupts hot white lava all over my face and eyeballs (eyeballs are not apart of the face in my world)

That guy from Shaun of the Dead.......Simon Pegg. I wouldn't suck his cock. You know why? Because he is a filthy ginger.

In other news. Look at this chode

Believe me.......I even think it's beginning to get old. I have so many ideas concerning people fapping, milk coming out of breasts on a lions shoulders etc........I need to get them all out of my head.

My cartoon which hopefully will be finished - is going to be jam packed with huge dicks, vag and butt. It's going to be my epic masterpiece with dicks everywhere.

Once I finish it I have some other ideas that are of a serious nature. Sort of. Basically I have a great idea for a sex scene. Really artsy and blah you know? It will be sort of a music video to the song "One of these mornings" by Moby.

Anyways. I do believe this is my first serious post.........on Newgrounds.............Ever.

So

I'll end with this.

I want all you shit loving queers to unleash your dung all over my knees and elbows. Then I'll fuck Tony Jaa up with some muy thai shit elbows and knees to his asshole. He will fall and start vomiting on the ground and I'll do the twist and the mash potato in his vomit while jerking off and spreading air infested aids in the air.

Years later I'll fuck you for reading this while the Ultimate Warrior delivers a stunning closeline on my DICK!

Here is a pic of my new movie "A CrackWhore Montage" I know you don't care.

My flash film is running at 800k any ideas?

First. I should tell the time I found my Mom's strap on dildo when I was 16. Here goes.

I was snooping around her room because she was on some crazy ass 3 week bike race across state. Anyways. I was looking for porn or something because I remember back in the day I found a playboy mag in my Mom's room. More than likely belonging to her boyfriend at the time. Still I was hoping for something sweet.

And I got it.

I looked under her bed and saw a wicker basket. I opened it up and in there I found a peanut can. In the can contained weed. I was like "WTF MY MOM SMOKES WEED" I dont even smoke pot. Then I find some K-Y Lubricant and A STRAP ON DILDO! YES. A STRAP ON DILDO. My Mom isn't a lesbian. Her Husband now has one eye. I wonder if she rams his socket.

NOW THE NEW DILDO STORY

I'm almost 22 now. I was staying at my Mom's last night because she is once again off on that same bike race that is 3 weeks. I was just relaxing, it was about 1 in the morning, then suddenly I hear two loud POPS that sound like gunshots and a movement on my porch. I run upstairs to my Mom's room where she keeps a small pistol in one of her dressers. With adrenaline pumping through and I'm seriously about to shoot someone once I get this fucking gun out of her dresser. Then. I find a 10 inch dildo with one of those little things at the end of it that plug your butt as well. The dildo is called a Dolphin for it's resembelance to the animal or mammal whatever.

Worst thing though. There was hair on it. Even on the butt part.